Operation breakfast

Like my friend Malcolm once said, "Grace, you're quite investigative." And he's right.

I like observing people (which probably something rubbed off from my mom). I like taking a peek into their lives. I can spend some time just getting lost in the sea of faces, wondering what's the story behind every smile, every frown, every confusing look on people's faces. There ought to be one. But wondering about them is as far as it goes.

Today during breakfast, I had all the time in the world to sit down, enjoy my little hearty breakfast (which turned out to be not so 'little' after all), and just mind my own business. At first, it was just me and two other people. But as the sun came up, more and more hungry faces strolled into the breakfast area, and that's when I couldn't put up the minding-my-own-business front anymore. As I see different people carry plates filled with food, I began to see a pattern.

Give the Greeks your coffee cup, and they can tell your fortune. Give Grace your plate of food, and she can tell your eating habits. My mom calls me a health freak. Maybe I'm not quite a health freak. But I do know quite a bit about nutrition 101 and I like to take care of the body God gave me.


But I digress... They say, "You are what you eat.". And it has never been truer for me till today. I saw one person's plate filled with vegetables, fruits, muesli, yogurt and a glass of orange juice on the side. "He must be a health freak, like me.". And then another guy comes along with nasi lemak and thought "Hmm... ok, maybe not a health freak.." And then I saw this lady who is.. well, stocky, to say the least.. spread her toast with a lump full of butter and an even bigger lump of kaya. LOL.. ok, now she was going overboard and OTT.What I did notice was that the majority of people were healthy eaters. And that's quite comforting. At least I'm not the only 'health freak' in town.

But I doubt any of them is an investigative freak like I am... so in any case, I'm still a freak. Even when on vacation. LOL.

In His arms

Today was one of those days when I felt as if my world was crashing down on me. I don't want to talk about it now. Maybe I would after awhile, but not today.

As today unfolded... little by little my world crashed. As rubble was filling my heart quickly, its weight increased. It was almost unbearable. I was helpless. All I can say was, "I'm holding on to You, Jesus... I'm holding on to You..". In my head played the line from a song, "In a broken world, Jesus I'm holding on to You.".. how befitting.

I just wanted to rush home. I wanted to get on my knees and cry out to God. When the time came though, all I felt like doing is crash on my bed. I did just that. I wanted to cry out to God.. but I couldn't say a word. All I could do was close my eyes and whisper "Jesus.. Jesus.. Jesus...Jesus..."

Suddenly, I felt the burden in my heart lifted. Warmth started surrounding me. I felt like I was in the arms of Jesus. I have had that feeling a few times before, but never has it been so strong. There wasn't a sound.. just comfort and warmth. I called for Jesus and He came right to where I was. He did what I truly needed - He gave me a hug. Him just being there.

Sometimes all I need is to be in His arms. Nothing earth-shattering. I just need His shoulder to lean on and His caress. That would remove the rubble in my heart in a matter of seconds.

Thank You, Jesus. I love You so much. Without You, I will die.

Knighted

I was actually served with a Staff Improvement Request aka SIR today. Mani told me I got "knighted" LOL. FUNNY. But anyway, the whole incident's a thing of the past and I sure am glad. I am not particularly pleased I made a huge blunder, but I find that without mistakes, I don't learn most of the time. It usually takes a stumble to make a person aware of his/her surroundings. I've been walking on a minefield and was nonchalant about it. It's funny it took this long to blow up in my face.

Anyway. The next time you buy a book, take notice of its front and back cover. Look at it. Appreciate it. Someone went through a whole lot of trouble for that. And maybe.. just maybe... got into real hot soup because of it (especially if the book is part of the My Phonics Readers series. LOL).

Of crop marks and films.

Today was one of the worst days in the last 3 months. Now, I'm not gonna say worst day EVER, because I believe I have had it worst. But it's the worst day ever since I've started my job as an editor.

Being relatively new to the job, there are many things about printing and editing that I don't know. And the weird thing is, nobody really spent the time teaching me those things. I was just under instruction and doing what I told to do. To my horror, I made the gravest mistake I think I'll make for the longest time.

But allow me to digress.. at least a little. In printing, there's a term and mark called crop mark. Well, as you might already guess, the mark is there to indicate where the machine will crop the piece of paper. The only person who ever bothered to train me was, ironically, one person whom I thought hated me from day one. Anyway, I was taught by her to draw lines joining the crop marks at each edge to view where and which part of the illustration or document that will be cropped (and it also determines the exact size of the book). Anyway, so today, I realised that in  many of the book covers the pictures had crop marks at weird places and brought that up to one of my superiors. She did not even bother to look at me and mumbled something in Chinese saying "What about the previous copies? Did they crop at the same place? If they did, then just follow." Here I am trying to do a good job, and I was brushed aside. Great, why did I even care in the first place? Just when I decided not to care anymore,  this verse came to mind...

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." - Col 3:23-24

Then I realized God was trying to tell me that I serve HIM not them. So I persevered and kept trying my best. Unfortunately, my best wasn't good enough. But more on that later.

Ok, so there's a strict policy on talking during office hours. With Mani next to me, I usually talk to him about work most of the time. But people, especially my superiors, think we're talking about other stuff. I am doubtful when it comes to my own work, and I usually need to confirm with others like Mani and Malcolm. True, I know I'm good in English, but I can never be to sure. So, I have a bad rep because of that and my manager has addressed it. But what am I to do??! And Malcolm's another one. He usually comes to talk to me, sometimes to complain about work, sometimes to discuss work. And of course, since the people in the office think we're sorta kinda "dating" (which isn't true at all), all the more they won't believe that we're talking about work. ANYWAY, I digressed again *but in any case, it is relevant to the rest of the story*...

So, after the whole crop mark issue... I was told to send the thing for filming. Get this, once it is filmed, it is final. And any other mistakes will cost the company pure cash. And that was the problem. I was proofreading the covers. Having so many things to look at, I failed to notice the fine print below that was suppose to be in English but turned out to be in Malay. Out of 12 films, I had to sent 8 back. That, apparently, will cost the company hundreds.

So, it's my fault. I did not see it. I am not going to deny that. I know people will blame me, and I know I would have to meet my superiors tomorrow. More than one. And I would have to defend myself. But I am not going to hide. I am not going to say it's not my fault. I will take full responsibility. Even if it means paying the company back. I will take responsibility. It's only right...

I know that even through this, God can shine through. I am not going to ask God to spare me from the consequences, but all I ask is that God grant me the strength, His power, His wisdom and most of all.. His precious presence. And I know He WILL BE THERE. He will never forsake me. He has never forsook me. And He never will.

So tomorrow.. instead being a coward and not going to work, I will face the music. Yes, on most occasions I am timid and gullible and easily frightened. But somehow, when it comes to big issues like these I do not run. And I thank God for His power and courage. I don't know what will happen tomorrow but I do know is that whatever it is, I want to make my Lord proud by doing the right thing. I want to glorify Him even in this trying time.

To God be the glory.

The editor, writer, receptionist, liar, and a heck of a lousy artist..

I realized today that I'm all of that rolled into one. No, I am not being emo. I'm just speaking the truth. The description is mostly true for my comrades too... Mani and Malcolm.

We edit books. In other words, we take junk that the so-called writers submit, recycle them, making them brand new.

We write books. Now, I'm writing a conversation book for kids. I'm not loving it. But at least I'm better off than my friend Malcolm who has to write some weird activity book called "Pinkie Panda and Fredo Frog" LOL. The poor guy has, as he calls it, "photo epilepsy" due to the amount of cliparts he has to find each day, the amount of illustrations he has to draw (more on that later..).


I'm a receptionist. I have to deal with people who tells me "I'm looking for so-and-so" And I have to point them to one direction or the other (I wanna ask for a pay increase! hehehe). But only I am the receptionist, since I'm the only one in the frontline. Oh well, I'll take one for the team then.

We're liars. How?? You might ask. We don't only deal with books, we write promotional leaflets (just what the marketing manager ordered) with a bunch of lies in them (lies *and books* which I will not buy in a million years), write blurbs for catalogues with descriptions such as, "breathtaking illustrations", "your child will be charmed by these fabulous books". By the time I'm done with them, I am either laughing my head off, or injected myself with a little too much in-denial-ness. It's true.. I am a liar. I sometimes don't know where to hide my face after lying to little kids and their parents. But... life goes on. I'll just be another editor with a "muka tembok" (thick skinned) who gets her paycheque every month while those books terrorizes the minds of kids. LOL!!!! Sorry boss, that's REALLY how I feel.

Finally, I am an illustrator. Well, sometimes. But I am a downright lousy illustrator. I can't draw. I can't even draw stick figures. But at least I know Malcolm isn't very far off either. I remember him showing me his illustrations (the Pinkie and Fredo one) and all that came out of my BIG mouth was, "You mean that's a frog?!". If that wasn't enough.. no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep a straight face and burst out laughing anyway. And today, he showed me another few pages of his manuscript (as though he did not get laughed at enough the last time round), pointed at a picture he drew and said "Do you know that's suppose to be a tyre?" And of course.. the ever so tactful me said, "YOU MEAN THAT'S A TYRE?!" And we both burst out laughing... AGAIN.
But hey. He KNOWS I can't draw for nuts EITHER. So we're good :)

Don't get me wrong, I still do love my job even after all that. If I didn't, the last 3 months would have felt like 3 years.

No job's perfect. Though, mine's hilariously imperfect.. LOL. (and need I mention again, I am grossly underpaid editor-writer-receptionist? :p)

The Cina Murtad strikes again

I've told people that I am a Cina Murtad. I think I've blogged awhile back what "Murtad" means. Murtad is basically a Islamic term to refer to an apostate of Islam. So yup.. I'm a Chinese "apostate", someone who pretty much isn't "Chinese". However, I never knew the gravity of my apostate-ness (if there's such a word) until recently.

I was at my cousin Jenny's wedding and it was very traditional, and very Chinese. So, knowing that.. I was trying my best not to do anything stupid that would be considered "unauspicious" or even anything that would offend the gods. But.. I think I was trying a little too hard. Because, by the end of the wedding, I actually committed two "offenses" without anybody (except my mom and sis) noticing.

First, it all started with breakfast on the table and a very starving me. I was near a table that had a plate of nicely arranged nyonya kueh plus a few oranges. It was all nicely laid out. I was wary at first, thinking that it might be for the "gods". But then, I noticed that the other tables had the same stuff as well. So, naturally I thought that it is meant for the guests. And guests = me....  so I took 1 of each nyonya kueh. well, I got it half right. Turns out those were for the groom's side, and the number of kueh on the plate represents something (but I reduced it by 1... hahahaha). That;s the first blunder. But of course, no one really noticed.... otherwise I won't be sitting here safely typing this.. HAHA JK!

Anyway,  as I am guilty of apostasy, so am I guilty of gluttony - the second blunder also involved food. I was just somewhere else when the groom brought the dowry. It had a lot of unusual things (including some noodles), and of course.. my favourite fruit.. oranges! So, unbeknownst to me, a certain amount of oranges, along with the head and the tail of the roast pig, had to be sent back to the groom. So, innocently.. once again, I took one (maybe two) oranges and ate them. To my horror, I saw the helpers counting 16 oranges to be sent back to the groom.. UH OH, I thought. What IF they did not have enough?? But in the end, they did.. and yet again, my blunder went undetected. HAH. Lucky me..

If that isn;t enough to prove my apostateness... I was having lunch with both Mani and Malcolm before I left for the wedding. Since my parents decided to leave for Ipoh at 1 plus that day, I had to leave halfway through lunch. That left the two guys alone to talk over what was the remnants of their lunch. When I went back to work the following week.. Mani was telling me what he spoke to Malcolm about.. the boss, the Senior Publishing Manager blah blah blah.. and THEN.. he said...

"Grace, I think Malcolm's more Chinese than you are. You know, his mannerisms and such."


OH YEAH. Just what I needed after a weekend of feeling totally unadequately Chinese. Fyi, Malcolm's actually a Dayak who's half Chinese (Dayak is one of the indigenous tribes of Sarawak). So being less Chinese than he is means I'm an utterly hopeless case. But it's true.. he is more Chinese than me, I've noticed in more ways than one. 


And.. today, Mani and I were talking about the fact that nobody speaks to the new  girl (who happens to be Malay) except me. He then said that people in my company are racists. And that I'm a racist too. I OF COURSE denied that fact.. but I was taken aback when he said..


"Yes, you ARE a racist...... you are racist towards the Chinese."


I burst out laughing,... I guess it's time I resign to my fate.

My name is Grace. I am a Cina Murtad. I'm UnChinese. And always will be.

I've learnt to be proud of that fact :)