Drawing an invisible line

I have to admit that I can't draw straight lines. Even if I use a ruler, my line will end up senget anyway. But do you know I can draw an invisible line? An invisible isn't so straightforward, and so it's hard for all of us, and some can't even draw it. But yet, I have a knack for it. Actually, the invisible line pertains to the relationship with me and Dr. Ummul. I probably mentioned before.. we have actually forged a friendship while I was working for her for 6 months. And when she became my supervisor for the second time.. that was when things started becoming complicated. You know, she's my supervisor and yet she's my friend kinda thing..

I guess both she and I made it a point to maintain a certain social distance. I would go through her secretary for appointments, and she would get her secretary to call me up when the appointment needs rescheduling. And when I meet her to discuss my work, the conversations were purely academic. Of course, in some way.. I did miss Dr. Ummul my friend. It's been awhile since we chatted about nothing much, and she'll tell me about funny stories. So when I emailed her one time.. I added a p.s. I should buy you lunch one of these days. Her reply was not even cordial, so I thought she would just rather maintain the supervisor-supervisee relationship. I accepted it.

And then... yesterday. She texted me asking if I was in uni. I became panicky thinking that there was something wrong with my progress report (it was time to grade my progress) so I asked if there was anything wrong. She said it was nothing and to drop by for lunch when you're on campus. I told her I would buy her lunch when she's free and also would meet her pertaining to my research. Actually, I scheduled for Tues.. and then today, she text me and said to do lunch on mon.. since she isn't going to be free on Tues. So, ok.. I was fine with it. And then, her secretary called me up to tell me the appointment needs rescheduling (clearly she didn't know about our lunch date) but I missed the call. So I knew what Dr was trying to do.. and I made it a point to call her secretary to reschedule and sync it with our lunch date.

So I guess this invisible line will exist as long as she's my supervisor. But I'm glad that we have this line.. at least that way, when we're in friends mode we can filter out everything academic from our conversations, and when we're in supervisor-supervisee mode we can filter out the crap talk. Either way, it's the best for the both of us.

Learning life's lessons from ants

Baking and my love for sweet stuff has lead me to constantly encounter ants. For such tiny creatures such as themselves, they sure create BIG chaos.

There are times when I am in a generous mood, so generous that I'd let the ants get away with some of my cake crumbs (that's how much I love cake). And it is at those times that I lament about how ants seem more "human" than humans themselves. There was a time when I just gobbled up what was left of my chocolate cake and a few crumbs fell on the kitchen counter. One of the resident ants, Anthony (it's lame, I know..), found it and for a few seconds, he was dancing around as a human would when one strikes rich. The problem was that that crumb was bigger than usual (perhaps that's why the ant was really happy) and since Anthony was alone at the time, he was not able to carry it alone. Still, an ant being an ant, Anthony tried nonetheless. I watched as the ant struggled to keep his balance, and quite pitied him. And then, another ant (let's name her ANThea), came strolling by and found Anthony struggling. She panicked and ran back towards the direction she was coming from. But to my surprise, Anthea came back with another two more ants and together, the 4 of them carried that crumb.

Which led me to think.. will humans do that? Go out of their way to help someone? I know some would. But I guess what made me sad was that this disease of being individualistic is affecting even me. Why is it such a norm to just stop and stare at people who are in trouble and not lift and finger? Why can't we be like ants whom, when seeing others in difficulty, go out there and help carry the burden, knowing there's risk involved (e.g. ants-squashing-humans like me..).


People say humans are becoming more civilized, but I beg to differ. Sadly, I'm one of 'em humans. Like one of my favorite poems goes:


Have I not reason to lament. What man has made of man? - "Line Written in Early Spring", William Wordsworth